Older older: April 2006

Had the weirdest day at work today. Not because anything special happened. A day like any other really. Started off extremely shitty due to the lack of sleep..hm..don’t sleep too well lately. And it’s getting on my nerves already. After of couple of hours of fighting the urge to take a nap and drink coffee (im sooo proud of myself for drinking bloody tea all the time!…argh…not an easy thing though)..vikute, im hooked on water as well…do my two litres every day :P but blimey..cut out fruit from my diet almost completely with a rare exception called bananas..tummy behaves better without fruit..have major cravings though…(touchy touchy touchy touchy,..I wanna feel dirty…susan sarandon sings :) can you see a pattern? Im talking like a mad addict…one thing on my head…gsus..so tired of this. Off pills now, blood tests good, so should be ok for now. Anyway, nough said.

Having arguments with screenselect.com like always…can’t stand them delivering wrong dvds!! Referring to my complaint history they should know better and watch what they do..complete arses. So I got this Forgotten Dvd with Julien Moore. Wicked, me thinks, but soon remembers I have seen it long time ago. Check my records, I haven’t even ordered it! Right, fine, ill watch it..which I do and post it back and guess what..the next dvd arrives and its Forgotten again …feckin hell..wrote them a threatening email and haven’t heard from them since :) prob checked my history and decided to leave me be and cool off.

Oh should go back to my day at work now..so yeah. Hm…where were we. What a tongue twister. So I woke up eventually and in the middle of my lunch break Val comes up to me (Val…the winker…aka the only person who bothers to talk to me at work) and starts asking me when my “lover boy” comes back form holiday. Makes me laugh like always and I tell her he’s just left Australia and will be back on the 2nd I think after spending a week in Japan. And then guess what, she goes on and on and on about how she cannot stand the bloke!! I could not believe this..I thought it’s only me who gets irritated by EVERYTHING he does, says, or touches…anyway, she goes: I wanted to tell him to take his time on the way back but he’s such a bloody good reader, can’t afford loosing him…how horrible..but such is life…and then she goes on even more..I cant help laughing even though I know I should NOT, and then she makes an impersonation of the way he eats, sits, talks, makes all those noises..comedy personified!! Almost peed my pants..sooo funny..and SOO wrong….feel very guilty now

Praise be to Val for making my day…the second half of the day just flew by..Left with Etaka and chatted about housing and prices. I do not get this..She has two kids, does this stupid reading job that doesn’t pay enough to support One person which is yourself but is able to rent out a six bedroom house …people please explain this to me…how on earth is that possible??? Im so sick and tired of thinking about money…oh Sarah, if you are reading this by any chance..my saviour, the only one who knows exactly what I mean! What do you think? Do you think we should blame alcohol? fags and smart clothes (which I don’t have)?…yeah right… a bottle of cheap plonk please..Cant wait to see you tomorrow!!

Off i go

so the night turned out to be FUN...a proper British pub, our local pub, as we will call it from now on. haha with middle age men in tight leather trousers and overweight ladies dancing their feet of on the carpet..and there was this one specimen: a lady in her early fifties maybe. with a tattoo of a kiss on her shoulder!! a red lipstick mark...female lips btw hahaha...markie and I were discussing whether this is for real or its a tattoo and then Nita, our downstairs neighbour, told us she's seen it there for the past few years so it must be a tattoo...what are the choices people make..gsus. stayed there until half two..I was falling off my feet how knackered I was..it didn't even help we got to request the songs we wanted to hear and markie danced to Madonna's Holiday like mad...(me half asleep under the table)..danced to Build Me a Buttercup at three in the morning...vikute, miss dancing to Brown Eyed Girl with you!!! bloody good times.

so boys and girls...we are going to play tennis AGAIN..and who's laughing now!! :) My bum aches today from all the running I did yesterday but markie is so excited Ivaylo and I finally got to do it that all three of us are going to the courts today..greatgreatgreat..

Marketa's doing dips from yoghurt and everything she has and chopped dill smells like heaven...im sitting in the kitchen cos the smells too good to leave.....(sigh)

It’s on the weekends when I really sort out my life. Cleaned everything up and realized how many of things-to-do..priority things to do…. I was neglecting…it is so easy to forget they exist when everything is upside down in the physical world that surrounds me. Its all sparkling clean now..and feels soo…soo….spaceous…easier to breathe :)

Ok….so here it goes….sorted out my bank acc details, cleaned my document folder, (by the way: the the fuck is my passport???????…I hope I didn’t throw it away …oh shite. Shiteshite.) Ok…what else…about to update my voluntaring hours. And the list begins:

Need to inform Dorcas and Millenium Volunteers about my so called progress..
Need to write a letter to Theresa and Anne in Wrexam. Hoping it will reach both of them in considerably good health.
Need to arrange a meeting with The Girl…go to a poetry café or something..Note to Self: remember to ask her about her dad, this seems to keep her alive these days..and what is that book he’s writing?..
Need to meet up with Admir, Molaudi, and possibly Frances…And BE GOOD with all of them, do NOT do anything stupid to get cheap attention..
Need to make an effort and go to Molaudi’s band concert. Need to talk to him and tell him he does NOT need me.
Need to contact Richard, Vessy and Juliette. Whatever is happening in their lives??
Need to phone or at least text Vytaute.
Talk to mum about her coming to London for as long as she gets sick and does decide to come.
Need to get a Young Persons Railcard replacement
Need to complete and send out an invoice for the hours I did for Linguamax.
Need to …that’s enough for tonight…will come up with more things that must be done tomorrow. I still have one day to get on with things before the week hits me on the head.

Off to a pub round the corner with Marketa. don’t want to go but our downstairs neighbour is playing there tonight and Markie wants to pop down and see how it is. I suppose it’s better than going to bed early.

seriously need to find my passport :/

ps. as katherine tate says: how VERY dare you!

Let me try and tell you about the world around me. Its rather perplexing how extraordinarily gorgeous in its chaos it is. These little messed up entities framing my space every day, every minute, every once in a while fake their purpose and do what they are not supposed to do..like take me by my heart and transport us to a point in time when anything and everything is perfect..I did my laundry a week ago. Its still hanging here on my right. Cannot be bothered to dismantle it and fill in the right shelves with the right items: knickers, socks, t-shirts and jeans. I let them breathe by the window instead. Three pairs of my jeans on the floor. A nonexistent ironing board and an iron on the floor as well. Who needs an iron at all. And piles piles oh mountains of rubbish..must clean it all. First of im running out of clothes that have not been on the floor and am too lazy to iron the clean ones. And second, mushrooms will start growing here soon. Oh and fuck Ivaylo is coming over to pick me up before we are going to play tennis (you may laugh darlings but as I told Sarah last night: I have played tennis, yes indeed…haha when I was ten or eleven but whoevercares!)..oh well..not the first time he will see this bloody disaster of a room.

Let me try and tell you about the world within me. Its rather terrifying how magnificently pretentious in its order it sometimes is. These perfectly square (round or triangle) plans framing my organs every day, every minute, every once in a while go out of order and do what they are not supposed to do..like take me by my heart and transport us to a point in time when anything and everything is perfect.. and then I forget to breathe, and my brain goes defunct and the second-long-funeral of it is liberating to the extent of madness. So that’s how it feels to have a purpose and lack the will.

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.
In love, you feel the most alive when everything is uncertain, one moment heaven... the next moment hell.
You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.
Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.
You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.
In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

People Envy Your Compassion

You have a kind heart and an unusual empathy for all living creatures. You tend to absorb others' happiness and pain.People envy your compassion, and more importantly, the connections it helps you build. And compassionate as you are, you feel for them.

What Do People Envy About You?

How You Are In Love

You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often.
You give completely and unconditionally in relationships.
You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.
You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.
You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

mataip kaip...interesno

You Are Grass Green

Down to earth and a bit of a hippie, you are very into nature and the outdoors.You accept the world and people as they are. You don't try to change things.You are also very comfortable with yourself, flaws and all.Optimistic about the future, you feel like life is always getting better.

What Color Green Are You?

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