ps. as katherine tate says: how VERY dare you!


Let me try and tell you about the world around me. Its rather perplexing how extraordinarily gorgeous in its chaos it is. These little messed up entities framing my space every day, every minute, every once in a while fake their purpose and do what they are not supposed to do..like take me by my heart and transport us to a point in time when anything and everything is perfect..I did my laundry a week ago. Its still hanging here on my right. Cannot be bothered to dismantle it and fill in the right shelves with the right items: knickers, socks, t-shirts and jeans. I let them breathe by the window instead. Three pairs of my jeans on the floor. A nonexistent ironing board and an iron on the floor as well. Who needs an iron at all. And piles piles oh mountains of rubbish..must clean it all. First of im running out of clothes that have not been on the floor and am too lazy to iron the clean ones. And second, mushrooms will start growing here soon. Oh and fuck Ivaylo is coming over to pick me up before we are going to play tennis (you may laugh darlings but as I told Sarah last night: I have played tennis, yes indeed…haha when I was ten or eleven but whoevercares!)..oh well..not the first time he will see this bloody disaster of a room.

Let me try and tell you about the world within me. Its rather terrifying how magnificently pretentious in its order it sometimes is. These perfectly square (round or triangle) plans framing my organs every day, every minute, every once in a while go out of order and do what they are not supposed to do..like take me by my heart and transport us to a point in time when anything and everything is perfect.. and then I forget to breathe, and my brain goes defunct and the second-long-funeral of it is liberating to the extent of madness. So that’s how it feels to have a purpose and lack the will.