Nicole (Lynden's daughter) took this photo while playing with my phone. Missed Juliette and the girls there..the place is not the same without them.

Vessy, everyone's saying hi to you and sending their love. Did you know Heulwen tried ringing you on your landline? You were not home apparently. Will do my best to write an informative email to you about everything that happened OUT THERE.

Back to London now, flying out on Friday...

trututu mes kartuuuu daug pridareme klaidu.....oh bugger, my sister is not here to read this one..a family inside joke


aaaaa...e...a....e......


i was told repeatedly how fat i have gotten

Christmas Day

22 of December

Magnificent..
I watched you from afar

When we danced

We had our Office Christmas Party (OCP) last night. Apparently OCPs are a big thing in this country. I marvellous chance to see the real faces of your co-workers. And real they are..

Comforted was I to find myself in a crowded room of maybe 70-100 people who smile with their eyes and do mean it when they say Bless You – an everyday mantra in this season of flu. Every person received a long awaited goody bag hello hello!! it contained wine so guess how happy I was!! The bag also contained a box of chocolates and a lottery ticket (won a sphyga me). On to the bar – to be brutally honest with you those few weeks of gym and diet did me good (Sarah, yes, bitch, I did get into a size 8 vest!!…flipping heck…must not spoil it now) mostly healthwise (that is I can climb the hill on the way to work and still be able to breath rhythmically) so I really hated indulging on unlimited amounts of alcohol (numbers of calories multiplying in my head in nanoseconds) but I decided this is the season of flu and indulgence and there I was…(sweated off all of the calories today)

Forgot about the harmful influence of drinking after a second glass and oh yes…danced and danced and danced….

And then…that one dance to Build Me A Buttercup.. such a song!…and off and thanks and you ok and I am leaving now and hug hug and kiss on the forehead. I left.

Feels like I am going down with a flu. Maybe not. Maybe not.

friday after work

triushuka 

Another thing that…

Dreaming of Margaret Thatcher again. Waking up all sweaty and terrified. All the unspoken joys of reality TV. Being late to work and singing Bodyrockers’ hit morning song as I climb up the hill.

And at work. I know she knows you too you too there again a little… even if I do not hear your voice for two or three consecutive days. Or that laughter…oh…how much how little how grand
Forgetting what you I me you too us there need need need…

Christmas and New Years are going to be fantastic I begin to think. Whoopeyyyy like Carol says.

I believe. I believe there is a cure to your insanity. I believe all the prayers unspoken by the Ethiopian starving children and those bouquets of diseases proudly stapled to the tablecloth in a pitch dark room….o shit….and waxed fruit in a waxed fruit basket. Always wondered why some kitchens smell of graveyards. Ode to the loneliness. We will sing, darling, we will sing to the skies. Yes, the song will be your salvation. Put me in your pocket and we will travel to those countries. Loud and obnoxious. And so quiet in Their sight. So calm and even serene, full of peace because how else will you endure the walks in a country where crimes of passion are forgiven by the law.

Have you ever, will you ever, do you tomorrow and been you yesterday standing there, you know, on that particular spot under the shoulder of a cloud where you cannot really blink at the sun but so warm!!

Life is so fucking boring it is unbelievable. Reminiscing on those years of action this sodding vegetation is getting on my nerves. Part of it, I am aware, comes from the fact that I am no longer in school. Times when every single day of the week was packed with events are long gone. The amount of irresponsibility and shallowness I put into my minutes and hours now give me numerous panic attacks. I prefer not to get into all the meaning of life bullcrap yet I find myself thinking how that linear time we live by gets copied and pasted in new and newer sheets. My sheets of meaninglessness.

The street outside my window is packed with cars. I’m sitting right next to it – the window that is – almost glued to the radiator, my eyes hung on those cars in every parkway. There is one particular door that caught my attention. All of a sudden, literally in a moment of seconds, the street was lit up by a streak of light squeezing through open doors. I know, how can a streak light up a whole street, well, a part of it, but it can, it can..this light…stabbing the dark. So anyway, and then you would not believe it! Ten, fifteen young and old people rushed out through the door to one of the family cars, loaded and unloaded something from and into the car as I was writing this and were gone, were gone. ...They were all so..so…beautiful. White shirts, black trousers, suits, bloody red evening gowns, dresses, oh dresses but above all…their faces lit with eagerness, delight and comfort. It was one of those chemistry moments – literal chemistry – every human being a part of a formula, like atoms forming combinations unaware of their purpose but there to form it..this vision or should I say a glimpse, a cut out from the succession of images, was enough to drive me to tears but make me smile as well

You know how it feels…to rummage around in your head looking for familiar symbols and images, pictures even from your past, to apply them to present day events in order to make sense. Not a very bright or wise thing to do…not at all being a creative one who might one day give birth to a creative one…oh..my sister is online..gotta go

Almost forgot: Jocelyn is coming to England for a couple of weeks in January….how great is that!!!!!